Entry: Blurry Wednesday, December 17, 2003

I look around and all I see are shadows of people. A giant mass with indistinguishable components. The irony? Each person has his or her own story. Each person has his own share of issues. Each of these people considers me part of the same blob, though from a different perspective. Yet all I seem to be able to focus on are the issues concerning me. Selfishness is inevitable, I guess. But EGO is not necessarily a bad thing. Just ask Ayn Rand. So many people are oblivious. Completely ignorant. And I'm just as hypocritical as the rest of the mass. I know people want to care, want to help, want to find answers for me, but ultimately each of these people is mostly concerned with his or herself. But I appreciate them anyway. I am no better. I have no right to condemn. Is ignorance really bliss? Maybe I'd be happier if I had no knowledge of the truth. Even now I can't pretend to know everything, but I am quite aware of corruption. Even so, it is only with this experience, this knowledge, this corruption that I can comprehend and accept a fuller, broader, more complete happiness. This so-called "bliss" that results from ignorance only exists because the ignorant know nothing else. Ignorance dominates their lives and helps to keep the act of living a steady process. But living in ignorance will never allow you to grow. There is no good, no bad, only the absence of knowledge.


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